GOOD MORNING VIETNAM...oops, wasn't there...I wanted t be, well...NOT

Well, good afternoon all.  what's going on in your little spot on the globe?   What's bothering you Binky?

House need repairs?  Burn it down.

Neighbors house look like it belongs in rural Arkansas?  Burn it down too.

Kids giving you trouble?  Sell 'em.

I tried selling mine once, the guy brought them back.  I tried selling my first wife to the same guy, he brought her back too...cant say as I blame him, I would have brought her back too.

Here's a thought, I read on Fox News web site about a guy that got busted for a traffic violation, and when the Poe-lease opened the trunk of his car, they found a live Cat that was marinating in oil and peppers for the guys next meal.  WTF???  Being a lover of cats myself, I could have told him to add Garlic and Onions to bring out more flavor.

Well, it finally happened, after 2 months of retired bliss, my evil wife forced me to return to a life of senseless toil.  She made me go back to work, now she must be destroyed.  She gave me the most insane of reasons.  She said if I wanted to spend money I would have to go back to work.  It's not to bad though, it allows me to do the things I like to do, and it's only part-time (8-12) and damn good dough.  Life is good!

BTW, who the hell said we are in a recession? Not from my point of view.  My wife works (guess that's reason numero-uno not to destroy her).  High unemployment?  dont think so.  Where else can a man 64 years old snap his fingers and get a job?

Sorry, gotta go, Jerry Springer is on...

Here Come Da Salsa

Well, here I am again, I was just fooling around with a picture and I just lost the whole first part of the post.  I'm going to have to start all over again.  I have had a terrible day, I had to mow the lawn this morning.  It's exhausting, first you have to clean the patio, then you have to lift up all the downspouts so you don't shred them with the mower.  Then I have to hop on the tractor (20 hp John Deere) and drive around the yard in this stifling heat and humidity.  Damn it, it's hard steering that thing.  By the time I was done, I was sweating like a Pig.  I gotta tell you, my life is just to tough, I don't how I van go on.  Hang on, I'm hungry, be right back.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock...[10 minutes later]

OK, I'm back, are you happy now? I thought not. Ever rummage through your freezer for something to eat for lunch? I just did and found a cheeseburger about 3 months old. It had icicles hanging on it. I popped into the micro and nuked it on defrost for 3 minutes. Too long, the cheese was all over the plate and not on the burger. The bun was like eating granite. The cheese was so crusted in the plate, it took the dog (Wylie) 15  minutes to lick all the cheese off, but lick it off he did. That plate was so clean, I just put it back in the cupboard...did I just make you throw up in your mouth a little?

I took a stroll out to the garden this morning after half killing myself cutting the grass, and what to my wondering eyes should appear?  No, not 8 mangy Reindeer, stuff.  Here is my first harvest.  Let's see, what do we have here, Sweet Banana Peppers, Jalapeno peppers and Pole Beans.  Next to come in will be the Poblano and the Cayenne Peppers  No Tomatoes yet, probably next week.  The garden seems to have exploded, some of the tomato's have branches 1/2 an inch thick, and the pole beans are like Jack's Beanstalk.  I can even find the pepper plants.  Then there are the skeeters...dear Lord, what were you thinking when you invented them?