Oops

I just registered a domain for my rantings, it is oolabob.com
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Porting My Blog

Good Morning World,
I am porting my Blog over to wordpress.com to the following address: http://oolabob.wordpress.com/.

I will continue to double post, but please follow me on the new address.  If it becomes worthwhile, I will take out a web domain there.
Thanks and love to you all

This is just tragic

This was a blog entry on the Peoples Republic of  Madison's Pravda Newspaper website, and followed a story on the democrats failing to finalize union deals for state workers. The grammatical errors/missing words, etcetera, are all his:

“Would you and others of your mindset, please put a Walker bumper-sticker on your vehicle, so I know to keep on walking, if I see you (or a loved dying) in a crash or getting mugged and/or beaten or the very least falling on the ice and hurting yourself, while going to your car on the street, because I would be laughing to hard at that happy day in Wisconsin. It is time to let the retarded right-wing rectum radical trash (who aren't already rich) sink to the bottom, where they so strongly want to race. So, if something happens to you and your loved-ones and people walk on by, not providing you any aid, just remember that is the way you wanted it.

By the way all Decker deserves is to be spit upon, which I won't be doing, but if he is accosted by others, when I'm around I will just laugh, the same way I would laugh at you, if one of your loved ones dies a slow agonizing death.

May you have a tragic Christmas and may one of your crashes cause you to become quadraplegic, whether it is your fault or not, it will be what you deserve.”
[end of blog quote]

Need I say more?????  Those of you not from Wisconsin probably won't know what this is all about, but you only have to look at the supporters of your Democrat controlled legislatures, they're all the same.

What The???

Well, look who’s back. yup, me.  Bet you thought you were rid of me didn’t you?  WELL, YOU WERE WRONG!  You’re not getting ff that easily.

Well, how about that erection, oops election.  Did it go well for you?  I went fine with me I must say.  The only thing bad that is going to come out of this is that Pinko, Red, Commie Bitch Sea Hag, too ugly to even be a god Lesbian (not that there’s anything wrong with that) is going to be the face the Democrats are going to show to the world.  God knows we are all tired of seeing that Dufus that occupies the Whitehouse.  She is going to destroy your party.  How’s al that Hope and Change workin for ya?

I have to wonder what all this hub-bub is about the full body scanners?  What’s the big deal?  You have a choice, take the pat down and be groped (you might like it), or not.  That doesn't bother me in the least, even if they do grab my junk, it doesn't work anyway, and if it did someone would get their Jollies.  Looking at it from the person that is the groper not the grope, it could be quite pleasurable…and you get paid for it.  OR, go through the scanner.  What’s  the big deal, they cant see your face, they’re just lookin at your “stuff”.  Be proud of it.  I have already told a good friend of mine that lives in New Hampshire (you know who you are) that I have already pre-ordered  8x10 glossies (suitable for framing) of her nude body scans from Amazon.com.  I am so excited!!!!!

Ok, did I tell you I have another dog?  OK, I have another dog, he is a Airedale that Kim and I rescued from A puppy Mill in Kentucky.  He is almost 3 years old, and just a Doll.  His name is Charlie, we call him Choo-Choo Charlie.  He has a few bad habits that we have to deal with (one of which is marking the house walls), he was a stud Dog (just like me) (in another life of course), and we will have that dealt with soon (I hope).  We are going to get him a Belly Band so he cant pee indiscriminately.  One of his good points is he doesn't chase the kitties, that in and of itself was enough to spare him from the ovens.  If we cant overturn Obama Care, I may have to fight him for his Kibble.

Anyway, that’s my story, and I’m stickin to it.

Where The Hell Have I been?

Well, I’ll tell you.  I’ve been working.  Yes it’s true, I have gone back to work.  It’s pretty funny though, I quit my job because I didn’t wan to work full time, and they wanted me to work full plus overtime for the foreseeable future.  Sooooo I quit.  My Boss kept telling everyone I was retiring.  Not true, I resigned because number one, I didn't want to work full time, and number 2, I pretty much couldn't stand being there anymore.  Here is the funny part, my new job was doing engineering design and CAD Administration 20 hours a week.  I am now up to 30 hours a week, and will probably need to work more.  The only difference is, I like where I am working now.  Oh well, WTF eh?

So, here I am minding my own business working all summer, gardening, and a few other things when I hear this dribble on Fox & Friends the other morning.  I hear this English political pundit stating the following for the record, “if I had a child that was severely disabled and suffering, I would be the first one to put a pillow over its’ head.”  Then another comment was made to the effect that mothers should be able to kill their babies within the first 28 days after birth without fear of being prosecuted.  What the hell is going on in this word?  As a Pro-Life advocate,  am outraged!!!

While it’s true that mothers (mostly unwed) kill their babies every day in the US, most of the time they are not even prosecuted, or if they are, they get less time in jail than a robber.  The put them in garbage dumpsters, toilets or just leave them on the streets to die.  The sad part is Wisconsin has a law saying that babies can be abandoned at any hospital with no questions asked, and still they kill them.  I’m too pissed, I cant write anymore, may they all burn in hell!

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM...oops, wasn't there...I wanted t be, well...NOT

Well, good afternoon all.  what's going on in your little spot on the globe?   What's bothering you Binky?

House need repairs?  Burn it down.

Neighbors house look like it belongs in rural Arkansas?  Burn it down too.

Kids giving you trouble?  Sell 'em.

I tried selling mine once, the guy brought them back.  I tried selling my first wife to the same guy, he brought her back too...cant say as I blame him, I would have brought her back too.

Here's a thought, I read on Fox News web site about a guy that got busted for a traffic violation, and when the Poe-lease opened the trunk of his car, they found a live Cat that was marinating in oil and peppers for the guys next meal.  WTF???  Being a lover of cats myself, I could have told him to add Garlic and Onions to bring out more flavor.

Well, it finally happened, after 2 months of retired bliss, my evil wife forced me to return to a life of senseless toil.  She made me go back to work, now she must be destroyed.  She gave me the most insane of reasons.  She said if I wanted to spend money I would have to go back to work.  It's not to bad though, it allows me to do the things I like to do, and it's only part-time (8-12) and damn good dough.  Life is good!

BTW, who the hell said we are in a recession? Not from my point of view.  My wife works (guess that's reason numero-uno not to destroy her).  High unemployment?  dont think so.  Where else can a man 64 years old snap his fingers and get a job?

Sorry, gotta go, Jerry Springer is on...

Here Come Da Salsa

Well, here I am again, I was just fooling around with a picture and I just lost the whole first part of the post.  I'm going to have to start all over again.  I have had a terrible day, I had to mow the lawn this morning.  It's exhausting, first you have to clean the patio, then you have to lift up all the downspouts so you don't shred them with the mower.  Then I have to hop on the tractor (20 hp John Deere) and drive around the yard in this stifling heat and humidity.  Damn it, it's hard steering that thing.  By the time I was done, I was sweating like a Pig.  I gotta tell you, my life is just to tough, I don't how I van go on.  Hang on, I'm hungry, be right back.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock...[10 minutes later]

OK, I'm back, are you happy now? I thought not. Ever rummage through your freezer for something to eat for lunch? I just did and found a cheeseburger about 3 months old. It had icicles hanging on it. I popped into the micro and nuked it on defrost for 3 minutes. Too long, the cheese was all over the plate and not on the burger. The bun was like eating granite. The cheese was so crusted in the plate, it took the dog (Wylie) 15  minutes to lick all the cheese off, but lick it off he did. That plate was so clean, I just put it back in the cupboard...did I just make you throw up in your mouth a little?

I took a stroll out to the garden this morning after half killing myself cutting the grass, and what to my wondering eyes should appear?  No, not 8 mangy Reindeer, stuff.  Here is my first harvest.  Let's see, what do we have here, Sweet Banana Peppers, Jalapeno peppers and Pole Beans.  Next to come in will be the Poblano and the Cayenne Peppers  No Tomatoes yet, probably next week.  The garden seems to have exploded, some of the tomato's have branches 1/2 an inch thick, and the pole beans are like Jack's Beanstalk.  I can even find the pepper plants.  Then there are the skeeters...dear Lord, what were you thinking when you invented them?

Consertive Bloggers, where are you?

Where are all the Conservative Bloggers? Are you hiding? I am proud to say I am a Conservative Tea Party member and proud of it., Are you? It's time to take back our fine country from the looters who are slowly moving in and destroying it. If you don't believe this is true, read Ayn Rand's timeless treatise on America, "Atlas Shrugged" http://atlasshrugged.com. Ms. Rand has published a number of other works, The "Fountainhead" (loosely based on Frank Lloyd Wright), "We The Living" (loosely based on her childhood in Soviet Russia), "Anthem" and other Essays.

I don't know if I have mentioned it before, but I have read this masterpiece 8 times and thinking about a 9th. It will scare the hell out of you. When I look around and I see what is happening in this country I just want to scream! I can't just lament what was, that would be just stupid and it would let things move along as they are now. The Status Quo is not acceptable to me. I have to move in the direction of what should be. It certainly isn't the Politically Correct Nanny State...so should you.

We need to take back our government and restore our position in the world that we have worked so hard to achieve, Come on Join me!

I think I have too much time on my hands

Well, here we are again. What shall I rant about this time? Oh, I know, we'll do free form.

• • What the hell is happening to our country? I'll tell you, it's sliding down the scale to from supremacy to mediocrity, and soon will only be a notch or two above third world countries. Look what's going on, we have double digit inflation, we are spending money like drunken sailors that we don’t have. We have senior officials in our government (and I use the term loosely) that have "forgotten" to pay their taxes, refuse to enforce the Constitution, are trampling on our rights, etc., etc. I could go on forever. We have a country going to hell and our Supreme Exalted Grande Puba Obama is sitting around having coffee with the 4 douche bags on The View. Here is a man that likes to play at being president (I will capitalize "president" when we have one).

• • We have a country that spouts rhetoric, but won't stand behind it, just look at North Korea, Iran, and Mexico.

• • We have a country that is run by professional politicians like Charlie Rangel, in Congress for 40 years, Russ Feingold, Herb Kohl, just to name a few. Then we have Nancy Pelosi, I know California is F**ked up, but continually electing her??? Come on! I think California is lost in the 60's. Our country was founded on the premise that ordinary American citizens, when elected to office, serve a term or two and then go back to their farms, business, or whatever. Rangel has served 20 terms, 20 TERMS! I find it ironic that Mr. Rangel replaced another long term representative from Harlem named Adam Clayton Powell. If you remember back, Powell was disgraced and kicked out of Congress for much the same things that Rangel is involved in.

• • We have a government that will not enforce our borders because they are too anxious to get the Latino vote for another 20 years. They don't want to see the 13,000,000 or so illegals that are in this country and the hundreds of thousands that stream across our borders every year. This is costing the

• Taxpayers of this country Billions of dollars in services. If you aren't a legal citizen in this country, you got no social services, no driver’s licenses, no education, and no health care. GO BACK TO WHEREVER YOU CAME FROM, WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE! Know what happens to you if you are caught sneaking into Russia? The charge you with spying and shoot your dumb ass. Ok, I know you think I'm a raciest, well maybe I am. Every country in the world engages in racial profiling. Wake up this country is not the good guy, hasn't been for a long time. We don't practice what we preach.

• • Let’s talk about methods for extracting information from prisoners of war. Water Boarding? How tragic that we do that. You that complain about its' inhumanity have no idea as to the methods our enemies use, trust me you don’t want to know. They just cut off fingers, hands, arms, genitals and follow up with the cutting off of your head. I shudder to think what shape or how many pieces those two Sailors were when found in Afghanistan.

• • This brings me to Afghanistan. I know there are a lot of my friends that won't agree with this, but we need to get the hell out of there and let the pieces fall where they may. It's been ten years now and we are still at the point we were when we invaded the country. We never learn our lesson. Let the Military fight the war and get it over with.

I need a nap.

Peek-a-boo...lindsay whoo?

OK, what the hell!  News for today;

• We are going to have a communist appointed to the Supreme Court.
• A department of Agriculture high ranking person of color fired for racist activities
• The end of my retirement imminent
• etc.
• etc.
• etc.

The whole world is going to shit, and what do we hear about on the cable news channels?

• Lindsay Lohan news conference at the court during and after her surrender for jail time.
• Televised video of a gray SUV transporting missunderstood Lindsay to the "Super Max" institution to which she was sentenced 90 days/
• yet another televised news conference when Lindsay arrived and was booked.

One can only hope for a televised video of her strip search.

Who F**king Cares?

Screwed yet again, this time by Welington Windows

About five years ago, my wife and I replaced each and every window in our home. The number totaled 23 windows including 2 large picture windows to the tune of $21,000 and change. For us (as it would be for anyone) was a large investment, but worth it because it would increase the value of our home. We were very pleased with the quality of the product and installation. I can’t say enough about the installers, they were clean, polite and efficient. I recommended Wellington to all my friends and family. Having said all that, I find I cannot, and will not, recommended your windows any more unless your customer service policies are changed.


Some of my windows will not stay up when I open them, they slide back down and need to be tightened up. There is a mechanical device on the sides of the windows that needs to be tightened periodically, and there is also a tool to tighten them with. Newer Wellington windows have a different mechanism which tells me that my windows have a design defect.

This morning I called the local Wellington representative to have someone come out and tighten up the windows, and was told there would be a $65 trip charge to come out and tighten them up. I asked the man I spoke to if I could purchase the tool required to fix them. He told me that if I did it myself it would void my warranty. This is lousy customer service, $21,000 and change, and you are going to nickel and dime me every year or two to fix your design defect? I wonder if I would receive the same service had I chosen Pella, Marvin, or any other quality replacement window company? Maybe I should have gone to them for my windows. I went to you folks because I thought you were a cut above the rest, maybe I was wrong.

Self Importance, or is it impotance?

I cracks me up how some folks think that people in this country, with all the problems it has, really gives a rats behind what celebrities think, speak, and do?  People without a life, that's who.  Here are some of the people pushing their self importance on us:

• Bristol Palin and Levi What's his name...you deserve each other, go away.
• Mel Gibson and Oksana...what a sweet peaceful couple...you deserve each other, go away
• Tom Cruise...We all love the deep intellectual movies you make.  Let's see,  what was your last good performance?  Oh yeah, you haven't had one...go away.
• Nancy Pelosi...yikes, need I say more?  No mater what the problems American males have, they could be worse, they could be waking up to your ugly ass.
• Jim Doyle (governor of Wisconsin)...we don't need no stinkin' choo choo train...go away.
• Michelle Obama...shut your mouth, take your children go back to Chicago, they deserve you.
• Barack Obama...stay on vacation, the longer you do the less you can F***K up this country...go back to whatever island or under the rock you came from.  You're about 10 steps below Jimmy Carter.
• Barbara Streisand...you have one talent...singing.  Nobody cares what your political leanings are.
• Sean Penn...just go away.  Better yet, move to Cuba or Venezuela, you seem to prefer it.
• Lindsay Lohan...WTF?  Shut up and go to jail.  You did the crime, now do the crime.  You're no better than the rest of us are.

Well, I could go on and on but my limited memory (Mad Cow you know) is running dry, and I'm sure you get the point.  The world is going to shit.  People are killing other people in record numbers.  Countries are trying to kill other countries in record numbers.  People are starving, one million homes are going to be lost to their owners just this year alone.  The current regime is hell bent on turning North America into South America.  The Radical Muslim's are trying to bring the rest of the civilized world down to their level...the Stone Age.  The Dufus in the White house is spending us into oblivion, we'll all be speaking Chinese pretty soon.

Do I care?  Hell No!  I have enough problems of my own.

I guess I got off on a rant here, but what the hell, I'm old, retired and have nothing else to do.

OMG!!! Fox News talking abut Bristol and Levi What's His Name as a "Breaking Alert"  IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

• "Levi and Bristol -- Engaged, Not Having Sex" and related posts (tmz.com)

We're so sorry, Uncle Albert....

Well, how about those Democrats in Minnesota, they elected a moron to the Senate with convected felons voting.  I thought Wisconsin and Illinois politics were stink-poop.  we got nothin on the Gophers.  Let us take a look at the stupidity of the Minnesota electorate.  Hmm, lets see, they elected a over the hill washed up wrestler for Governor, they elected a washed up comedian wanna-be to the Senate, and they sold the farm to buy a over the hill washed up football player.  Can you guess who I am talking about?  I knew ya could.

When did this country start going down the hill?  was it during the Clinton years when we pondered what the meaning of  "is" is?  or, was it when we decided to invade Afghanistan.  I think the combination of the two.  We elected a man of low moral values in Bill Clinton and then were surprised and shocked when we discovered a pudgy young lady (I use the term loosely) under his desk.  I guess I cant really say too much about that because if I had to wake up next to Hillary every morning, I might be drawn to Monica also. 

Elections are being won using fraudulent means.  Violent Black Panthers are not being prosecuted for voter intimidation, because the the liberals and RHINO's need the black vote.  the border is not being sealed because the liberals and RHINO's need the Hispanic vote.  I ask you, what would have happened in any other administration if there were White Panthers, saying the things the blacks were ("we need to kill as many Crackers as we can, we need to kill they kids too").  Well I'm going to be a White Panther.  if they can call me a cracker, I can call them a few things too...or worse.  I'm tired of this GD double standard.
Then we have Afghanistan...what a cluster F**K.  Never in the history of time have the Afghans been subjugated.  The Russians failed miserably in beat the Afghans with arguably the most powerful armed forces the world has ever known and got their asses handed to them on a platter.  Enter The United States...the country who in 1950 forgot how to fight a war after defeating the Axis war machine in WWII.  Then AGAIN forgot how to fight in Vietnam.  Now we find ourselves embroiled an epic war in Afghanistan pitting well over 100,000 of the finest trained troops in the history of mankind against maybe 10,000 (vary liberal guess) rag tag Muslim fanatics, AND WE ARE GOING TO GET OUR ASSES KICKED AGAIN!  WTF, you cant shoot back at a enemy sniper of he drops his rifle?  Get real!  here's the deal, you are a Afgan, Iraqi, or any other suspect person and have a weapon...bang you're dead.  Is that called racial profiling?  I'm OK with that if it saves our lives.  Why should we be concerned with collateral damage, were they?  Why not just set off the big one and turn the whole Middlee east into a pane of glass.

We are giving our country away to the liberal bastards and illegal aliens that want to turn us into a kinder Soviet style state.  What does this all mean?  beats the hell out of me.  I'm only too glad that I will be dead when the shit hits the fan.

County Supervisor Who Supports Boycott Doesn't Know Arizona Borders Mexico...WTF?

I am appaled.  This is what liberalism does for you, it rots your brain.  just listen adn watch the stuff  below.  I need not say any more!

enjoying the day… the whole LONG day…redux

As my baby sister would say, "it's Monday, welcome to a new week".  Essen Sie meiner shorts!!!  This week will be just any other, hopefully not as expensive since as you know I AM a retired investor living on a fixed income.  That's a movie line I think from Godfather II.  However any week ABOVE ground is a good week...I will let you know, but you can assume if you don't hear from me next week, this week turned out to be no such a good one.

Today is overcast and cool, rain is coming, yippee, no yard work (er fun).  Unlike my sister, I welcome any day without air conditioning.  Axiom: the north is cool, the south is warm and humid...deal with it :)

Have you noticed then  when your home is 70 degrees in the winter, your warm, but when it's 70 degrees in the summer you're cool.

Here are 10 things about myself:

1. I have an opinion about everything, AND I WILL express it and write about it.  You might not always like what I have to say.  Remember, if God wanted us to eat skinless and boneless chicken, he would have invented them that way.
2. I like to read, but after buying a god book and reading a few pages, I lose interest.  I did however just buy Glenn Beck new book, and I have Sara Palin's book, and I pledge to read them.  Somebody please buy me  Kindle?
3. I have Massive Terminal Gas.  Yes, I break wind, go toot-toot, fart.  I seems like after I turned 60, everything I eat makes me fart, not just beans mind you, EVERYTHING!  Beano does not work for me no matter how many of them I take.  I was looking forward to my colonoscopy (sp?).  NO, I'm, not a perve, but I thought that all the juice I took the day before would clean me out and get rid of all the crap (pardon the pun) in my colon.  Yup it was true, I was watching them look around up there and it was clean as a whistle.  No wonder they give you good drugs, that Scope is the size of a baseball bat.  Next day?  same old story.  lets see a show of hands, whose wife ekeps bathroom spray on their night stands?  ok TMI.
4. I dont have to pack lunches, my children pack my children's childrens' lunches...Thank God.
5. I am a TV addict,always have been, always will be.  In my younger years (20 to 32)  I discovered the television was much smarter than my wife AND infinitely more interesting.  I have since discovered that my second wife was infinitely more smarter and intelligent than the TV.  Recently I was at a friends home and he had just purchased  brand new LED 3D TV.  I was so excited, I am after all a tech freak.  Turns out, I was very disappointed.  We were watching "Crossroads" on the Country Music channel and Def Lepard with Talor Swift were preforming.  When Taylor came on, I laid down on the floor under the TV on my back hoping to "catch a glimps"...all I saw was the bottom of the TV...WTF???  Whats all the buzz about?
6. I to would be lost without Google, after all how could I look into my neighbors bedroom  without Google Earth?
7. I have 2 cats and a dog that would have my sisters wiener dogs for lunch.  My dog chases the cats and chews on them, but I cant yell at him anymore cause the cats bait the dog, it's too funny.
8. Jeez, only 2 more to go, my fingers are getting tired.
9. I have many friends of all ages.  I have no frickkin clue how old they are since a lot of them live in my computer, and in my mind.  Maybe that's a good thing?
10. I'm a Conservative, and a damn good Tea Bagger...err, oops, Tea Partier.

I'm just sayin.

Will you still love me when I'm 64?

Well, here I sit broken hearted, paid to дерьмо and only farted.

I have been absent for over a month.  It was not from disinterest, I was working my BFAO supporting my family, our government (oxymoron), the Chinese, the Koreans, the Afghans, the Iraqi's, the Indians (dot, not feather) (come to think of it, feather not dot also)...WTF!

I have been working nearly full time since I was 16.  Now at 64 I went into semi-retirement working 20 hrs per week and off Fridays.  My company in their infinite wisdom decided they were going to force me back to full time in early June.  not only that, mandatory overtime until September or later.  I tendered my resignation, but I did agree to stay on in a part time situation, but I was not even given the respect of an answer from my boss and ultimately my company.  they would rather lose my product knowledge and also CAD (Computer Aided Design) Administration experience.  Oh well, probably for the best, I no longer have to put up with a humorless boss, and an egotistical condescending BUTT-HEAD.  I wont mention any names, but he wears a kilt once a year and talks down to you like you were a 2 year old.  I DID make some wonderful friends there though that I hope to keep in touch with.  Where is all this angst heading???  Pffft!!!  how the hell should I know, I'm only writing this.

oh yeah...I always dreamed I would retire and play golf, travel, and all the other stuff you see on the retirement advertisements on TV.  What a crock of shit.  At 60 you find things going wrong with you, in my case bad lungs, Diabetes, and bad feet.  Soooooooo, instead of golfing, traveling, and all that other stuff, I do the dishes, vacuum the house, water my garden, flowers, and cut the grass, go grocery shopping, etc., etc., etc.!!!  What happened to relaxing in your golden years?  לעזאזל, I have to go back to work it's easier.

Oh well, that's my story and I'm stickin to it.

Stocks, that's right Stocks

Now what's all this about stocks?  There are penny stocks, there are mid-cap stocks, there are stocks that will make you rich, there are stocks that will make you poor, there are stocks that will just sit and don't do a damn thing, then you sell them and you're right back where you started (minus the Brokers fee of course).

There are Big Bank stocks (evil greedy bastards), there are government (hate that word) sponsored monopolies like Fanny (not Flag) and Freddy (not pasgetti) that greedy politicians pressured to give sub-prime mortgages to people who couldn't possibly pay it back, I don't want to mention any names, but their initials are...oh I don't know...LIBERAL DEMOCRATES.  Wall Street had the rug pulled out from under their collective (oops, pardon me that was a socialist word) feet by the current regime.  You cant blame that on Bush, it started during the Clinton regime.

There are chicken stocks, there are beef stocks, there are pork stocks that are more liquid than the "banks that are too big to let fail" but are great in soups.  there are Medieval Stocks that if I could, I would put our current fearless leader in and throw heavy fruit and other stuff stuff at.  I'd say what but then you would think I was racist, and as everybody knows, I certainly am not.  It would appear that since His Highness has been designated the great saviour and New Messiah, we of the Christian Faith will have to wait until the third coming...the anti Christ is already in the Whitehouse....

What's that you say, Socks?  I  thought  you said stocks.  Oh, Never Mind...Bitch

Stay tuned for next weeks rant on Russian Jewry.

It just never fails to amaze me

You might think that I am a snivelling whiner, well maybe I am just a little.  Every time I buy something there is  50/50 chance there will be something wrong with it.  The range of items range from wives to toilets.  Quite a range isn't it?  We'll explore the first and the last and maybe a few in between if my fingers hold out.

The wife: The first one was broked, unfortunately it took me 11 years to utilize the "Lemon Law clause" in Illinois Marriage laws.  This was probably the first time in my life that I wished I was a Muslim.  I could have just stood there and and said "I Divorce You three times and that would have been it.  But Nooooooooooo!  I had to be a good little WASP and it cost me a fortune, and my children's innocence.  It took me 3 years to find the woman I should have been with in the first place, 30 years later I feel the same about her as I did then.  This one worked.  see what I mean?  50/50.

Hmmm, lets see...here's the Readers Digest version of the in-betweeners:

1. New GE Range: bought, replaced when the wiring in the stove almost burnt the house down.
2. Dishwasher: one year (just over the guarantee mind you), pump gone.
3. New microwave: bad turn table motor.
4. Having my Lawn Tractor fixed: they fixed everything but what I needed fixed.  They said they inspected the belts and found them to be OK.  I looked at the belts and found a half inch chunk of belt missing on the inside of the belt that drives the blades...HELLO, that's what I wanted replaced.  In addition to that, now the mower deck hangs cattywampus.

Now, on to the ttoilets.  You may recall a past post (say that 10 times) discussing toilets.  well, I jumped the shark, drank the coolaide, pulled the trigger, fill in your own cliche [                            ] and ordered 2 brand new Kohler Cimmeron 6 body waste disposal units, one in "biscuit", and one in white.  they are suppose to be able to flush 16 golf balls without clogging up.  Since I frequently use golf balls Range Balls only) when I run out of TP  to "clean up", this was of the utmost importance to me.  Since I am old and decrepit, I asked my son-in-law to put them in for me for $100.  the one downstairs went in without a hitch.  On the first flush, my son-in-law said "that thing would flush a small child".  I rubbed my chin and thought "Hmmmm, that could come in handy some day". 

Time for a new paragraph...

On to the other toilet upstairs.  As he did with the downstairs one, (removing the old one, then upacking and installing the new one)  he removed the upstairs one, then unpacked the new one.  Low and behold (you guessed it) the new bowl base was cracked and a rather large chunk was broked off.  Now to the casual observer this would seem no big deal, just take it back and get a new one.  Nope!  First of all, these Waste Disposal Devices were ordered  on-line from Home Cheapo (misnomer, 2 Kohler toilets, $600and change, nothing cheap there) and would have to be sent back UPS.  Second of all, THE FIRST TOILET HAD ALREADY BEEN REMOVED, and now had to be  hauled back up the stairs and re-installed.

I looked at the return instructions on the packing slip and said woaaaa.  So armed with the paperwork and the raw vicious anger I had stoked myself up for to fight the obviously bloody battle with customer service that was sure to come, I sat down and dialed the 800 number provided.  After pressing "1" for the English language version of the service call, and pressing another number for God knows what anymore, I actually had a human on the line.  I firmly believe that when you press "1" what you get is an English language translation of some long forgotton language from deep in the Himalayan mountains somewhere.  I couldn't believe it, I asked, "Are you a human?" she replied "yes I am".  Well, I was stupefied to say the least.  Those of you who call a customer service number know that this is unheard of, you usually have to press numerous numbers to get the Human (if you get one at all) and is answering from 9,000 miles away.  I was prepared for a bloody battle of apocalyptic proportions.  this was not to happen, within 15 minutes I had arranged for a new Pooper from Home Depot, and a pick up of the old one.  I was totally and completely impressed

Home Depot?  Kudos!  UPS?  get your sh*t together.
Damn!!!!!!  I hate looking at Nancy Pelosi, it makes me want to put hot pokers in my eyes or even Cottage Cheese Hot Pockets...then again I would have to live the rest of my life with her face as the last thing I ever saw, except for the hot pokers and the Hot Pockets.  Hmm, lets see, Pelosi or the hot thingies...Excrement!!! That's a tough chioce.   What does have to do with anything?  I have no fricken' clue.

Oh Hell, now my fingers are bleeding.  thanks God for spell checkers...  I'm just sayin'.

What will he say next?

What a wonderful spring, I awoke this morning to 6 inches of snow on the ground. Well, ok, I might be exaggerating, but it was snowing this morning, and it WAS coming down horizontal… I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised, I DO live in Wisconsin and you know what they say, Behold, a pale horse… oops wrong quote, mad cow you know, of well what the ache e double toothpick…get it? Unlike my Brother-in-law, I am prone to the using of “colorful” language, but I will try to tone it down for those of you with tender eyes. Anyway, I digress.


Have you ever shopped for a toilet? Crappy job to say the least (pun intended). One would think this was an easy task. WRONG!!! There are a gazillion brands and types to choose from. I narrowed down my search to either (pronounced eye-ther) Kohler, American Standard, or (pronounced “or”)Toto (not the dog…duh). I was amazed at the choices I had, and the prices I had to choose from. All I was looking for was something that wouldn’t clog. I didn’t need one that would flush down a bowling ball without having to use a plunger, but the thought of flushing 16 golf balls was intriguing.

There are low toilets, there are chair height (my personal fav) toilets, there are round bowls, elongated bowls, modified elongated bowls (I was afraid to ask what that was). There are one piece toilets, toilets with no tanks, toilets with power assisted flushers that are so loud everyone down the block knows when you are in the bath room sitting on the throne.

There are thick seats, thin seats, seats that have something in them to make them close slowly instead of slamming shut. There’s even one that plugs into the wall outlet to heat up your butt while you are looking through National Geographic.

I was amazed at the prices. They run from around $100 to in Thousands of dollars. I’m not kidding I saw one for $5,000 and change. This would astound Sir Thomas Crapper and Sir John Harrington.

      $100 toilet, note the                 $5,000 toilet, note the

         absence of T.P.                           absence of T.P.

Since you all know that I chair the Midwest chapter of BLA (Butt Lookers Anonymous for those of you in Rio Lindo) and am a connoisseur of  women’s butts, I have yet to see one fine enough to sit on a $5,000 toilet, but I do have high hopes of finding one or more.

…anyway, that’s my story and I’m stickin to it.

Harmony and me are pretty good company

Well,Spring has sprung, the grass has riz, well, you know the rest. 

Kim and I went on a spending spree this past weekend, new weed wacker, blower, hedge trimmer, all cordless.  I am sick and tired of trying to get the gas ones to start.  I think they should put electric starters on them. 

Anyway, I also decided to purchase a new Remote Control for the big screen HD and sound system.  I was replacing a Logitech Harmony 880  control.  I love Logitech stuff, no one makes better meeces and keyboards.  My old remote worked fine, but I wanted a new toy, sooooooo  I setteled on The Harmony 1.  This was before I read my friend Erics posting about the horror story he had.  So, with uncertain trepidition I awaited the arrival; of mine wondering if I was going to go through the same problems Eric did.  I am pleased to report that the transition from the old to the new was smooth as slik and took about 5 minutes.

This is my first week of semi-retirement.  It's kind of strange leaving work at noon and having the afternoon off and also Fridays.  I am already beginingt to get used to it.  It only took me 2 days :).  Kim has a "Honey Dew" list for me a foot long (single spaced).  Better get to it.

So many Butts and so few eyes

Boy, am I going to take some heat on this one, but what the hell.


One of the pleasures of being a man is looking at women. I should think that one of the pleasures of being a woman is being looked at by a man (or another woman) (not that there’s anything wrong with that). It doesn’t seem to work that way though.

I get it; women don’t want to be objectified as a sexual object. Men on the other hand live for it, and this is all very confusing to me. Women, ladies, girls, what have you, dress in tight jeans, short shorts, short tight skirts, tank tops, midriff blouses, no bra’s, thongs and all those other things that show off their “stuff” (or lack thereof). You wear a thong so your panty line won’t show. This implies you want to be looked at. Personally, a panty line is sexy to me; it leaves a lot to the imagination. Then again so are tattoos on ladies so take that for what that’s worth. For a serial girl watcher such as myself, that’s just fine with me.

The confusing thing is, if you look at their stuff (or lack thereof), and they get hacked off, the next thing you know you’re being sued or are sitting in an HR office somewhere waiting to be fired. If you don’t want to be looked at, don’t wear makeup and dress in a Moo Moo, trust me you won’t get looked at. On the other hand…

For a man, there is nothing finer than looking at a woman’s butt. They come in all shapes and sizes, but they are universally great to look at. Here’s the thing…

It’s a little known fact that looking at butts is a sickness much like alcoholism and drug addiction. It’s a disease that is prevalent in adult males of the species. This affliction affects all adult males whether they want to admit it or not, it’s in our jeans (oops I meant to say genes) we have to look. To that end there is a self help group like AA that has been established called BLA (Butt Lookers Anonymous). I have been attending BLA for a long time now, but it’s also a little known face that once a man stops looking at Ladies’ Butts, he gains weight. Look what’s happened to me? I have to start looking again to lose weight and since I am a tad overweight I’m gonna have to look at thousands of them. My rods and cones are all askew.

Stay tuned for the glory of Breasts and the eyes of man.

Obama, Beware

History tells us that Chili elected a socialist name Salvatore Allende...Look at what happened to him?  Augusto Pinochete

Screwed Blue and Tatooed

Welcome to "The Peoples Republic of The USA".  Those of you who voted in this Putz and his cohorts deserve what you get.  the new national anthem is now "The Internationale".  The Constitution has finally been destroyed, and thanks to our congress, we are now just like the Euro Trash.

Eeny Meeny Miny Moe, Catch Obama by the Toe

Eeny Meeny Miny Moe, Catch Obama by the Toe. If he hollers…shoot him. Ok, maybe just impeach him, the alternatives are more horrible. Think about it, no Obama and we have Biden. An even more horrifying scenario is to have them both gone and be saddled wit Pelosi. She is the only woman, with the exception of my ex- wife, that I have labeled with that one word that all women and most men think is disgusting…


What the hell is going on in our country? Congress is trying to circumvent the Constitution with procedural flim-flam to turn this country into a socialist Utopia. Sound familiar? One only has to look back at what happened in 1917. We are headed down the path that Europe sunk into, socialist ruin. Exaggeration you say? Think about it, the government has taken over two of the big three auto `wants to take over our healthcare using heavy handed tactics that will circumvent our Constitution. The comment I heard last night from our new Lord and Master BHO is “I don’t concern myself with procedural problems” If the Slaughter rule is enacted, in his mind, it’s a vote. The newest thing is Obama wants to create a “National Civilian Police Force”. Sound familiar?

It’s coming folks, sky high prices, riots in the streets, armed civil insurrection. I said it before and I’ll say it again, it CAN happen here make no mistake about it!

I could go on and on, but right now I am so mad I could spit, and if I keep writing this I might say something I shouldn’t… well, ok. I’M PISSED! Sorry about that.

Now what's all this crap about no movie tonight?

Sometime in the past 30 years (lucky me, I can remember that far back) our country has become a namby-pamby, touchy, feel good, politically correct hell. It seems that everyone is so worried about offending everybody else we have invented new words to replace the old ones.


“Now I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but” there are a few that I agree should not be used, the “N” word, the “S” word (for our neighbors across the border (south)), there are a few others that are related to the afore mentioned racial and nationality based epithets that were commonly uttered just a couple of generations ago.

We have slang names for many different nationalities, German, Irish, French, Arabs, Spanish, etc., etc., etc, (note my best Yul Brynner accent in “The King and I”). I don’t have to go there, you know what they are.

There is however, a double standard. It seems that people of one nationality or race can refer to each other with these “slang” words, but others can’t. Sometimes on word just says it all very completely. For me though, I feel deprived. People of color can be called, Black, they can be called African Americans, they can be called persons of color (doesn’t roll off the tongue very well) they can be called Negro, again etc., etc., etc. I get confused pick a description and stick with it. There are only a couple of choices for people of my ilk, Caucasian, whitey, cracker. Here is where I really get confused, is my state of crackerage Saltine or Oyster? I can’t even be a Graham Cracker

Germans are now German Americans; Italians are now Italian Americans, Fro.. Oops French are now called French Americans. See where I am going here? Here’s where I get confused again. People from Africa are called African Americans (at least those from south of the Sahara). Those north of the Sahara are referred to by their national origin, i.e. Egyptian, Libyan, Algerian, yada, yada, yada. In my mind, there is no such thing as an African American. This defies all rules governing the combination of nationalities. Africa is a Continent not a sovereign nation. This is all very confusing to me.

Ok, now I’ve forgotten where this is going. Oh Yeah, political correctness. We now call Dwarfs, and Midgets “Little People”, if they came from a country named Midget, could we call them Midget Americans??? Ok, maybe not. People that are Manic Depressive are called now Bi-Polar, people who are deaf are now either hard of hearing or hearing impaired. People that are midgets prefer to be called little people or vertically challenged, people that are blind are visually challenged, people that are bald are called follicle challenged…bla, bla, bla.

Now before you strange people that actually read the dribble I write think I am a racist, ignorant, bigoted S.O.B., let me say to you that I would be the last person in the world to consciously offend anyone (ok, maybe second to last)…but look around you, the world is collapsing, it’s going to hell in a hand basket, more importantly our country is collapsing and sooner or later if things don’t change will sink into chaos and anarchy. People think that can’t happen here, but it can. There is a war coming. There are a whole lot of things going on that can and will kill us all, political correctness doesn’t need to be one of them…

”of course that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong”…

...I'm Baaaaaaack

Well, here I am again. I knew, I know, you didn't even know I was gone. Well, some of you knew I was gone because I was visiting you.




The Wifester and I took a long weekend, we left Thursday, and sadly returned home on Monday night. So, you might ask “Bobaloo where did you go?” Well it just so happens that we went to see some life long friends in Gettysburg.



The weekend started with a fantastic flight on S0uthwest Airlines from Milwaukee to BWI in Baltimore. Well, as long as we were there we went to dinner at the Olive Groove (not to be confused with the Olive Garden for youse guys in Rio Lindo). Since This particular eatery is rated Numero Uno for it’s crab cakes, we just had to have them. Twenty bucks buys you two crab cakes that are each the size of a “C” Cup, I kid you not. Take a look below.

This is my friend Danny, next to my wife Kim, he’s my bestest friend in the whole wide world. We figured it out the other day, we’ve been friends for 51 years. Think about that over a half a century.



Dan and his wife live in Gettysburg, so it’s always fun to go to the battlefield and look for dead people. We didn't find any dead people, but we did find some stupid people. It seems the world is full of them, they’re all around us so look out for them…it rubs off. We took a trip to Ashburn Virginia (not to be confused with Ashburn Vagina for those of you in Rio Lindo). We visited Dan’s son and his family as we do every trip there and had a great time. Before stopping at Eric’s (not his real name) we stopped at Wegman’s supermarket. Have any of you ever been in one? it takes up 3 zip codes, it monstrous!!



We also stopped at a place named Cheesburger, Cheesburger. Holy Cow, never saw a hamburger that big except for on the Man vs..... food TV show on the travel channel. you can add about a dozen types of cheeses, and 27 different toppings. they have about 50 different flavors of shakes and malts. WOW, what a place, check it out cheeburger cheeburger.



Well, we spent the weekend playing Dominos, cards, eating and drinking. we also went to see a band named “The Hub Caps”. Talk about fantastic!!! Now I know this doesn't seem like a very exciting time, but Dan is 64, and I turn 64 this coming Saturday (the 13th). we’re old farts.



Well folks, my fingers are getting tired and they need a nap so i’ otta here. Remember “today is a day like any other day, except YOU were there”. well maybe not, I don’t know

Truly a Left Wing Conspiracy

I just read a posting by my friend Eric, describing what he called a left wing conspiracy in the Grocery Store. I too have been a victim of this vicious trend. Things that my wife and I like just seem to disappear from the shelves.

Here are just a few; corn bread crusted catfish fillets, fat free rice and tapioca puddings, Lavoris mouth wash, caramel corn with peanuts, and caramel corn itself. Cedar Crest Ice cream, red pistachios, and one of my personal favorite’s Peanut butter with real Bacon Bits mixed in (damn, that was fabulous!). the worst thing that has happened is the Pic-n-Save that I have been going to for 27 years is now completely closed for remodeling and I have to use a different on. Granted it is a bit closer, but they not call it a “Metro Mart”. The store is literally twice as big as the other one was, but offers less of a selection of goods. In addition, the layout is completely different. Now, I know what you’re thinkin’, “did I fire 5 shots or 6…” not a big deal you think? Well, after the literally thousands of times I went to the store, I could go up and down the aisles blindfolded and get what I need (except for the corn bread crusted catfish fillets, fat free rice and tapioca puddings, Lavoris mouth wash, caramel corn with peanuts, and caramel corn itself. Cedar Crest Ice cream, red pistachios, and one of my personal favorites Peanut butter with real Bacon Bits mixed in) that the left wing commie liberals have taken away from me supposedly for my own good. I ax you, would this be happening if Ronald Reagan were still president? I don’t think so.

By the way, I think I’m turning Japanese…I really think so. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it, and remember…”today was a day like any other day, except you were there.”

TCM's 31 Days of Oscar Moodboard

..just a thought

Note to self:

Soemtimes I just dont know.

Well, it wold seem I have offended my sister and she isn't  following my blog anymore.  There dosen't seem to be anything I can do about it, so I'll just move on with other thngs.

When did everything become so epensive?  this weekend could have cost me my first born (if I hadn't already given her away). 

I go to the store (Fresh Market) Saturday night to get a couple pieces of fruit, walked out spending almost $75 bucks.  Granted, it was after Kim and I were at the local Comedy Club and were just a little tippsy.

Got a bill in the mail from my Dentist for over $400 bucks for the beginning of a root canal.  It's a hellava thing to have to pay for pain, I thought that was over when I quit the S&M scene...LOL

Sunday Kim and I went to the eye glass place to get me new glasses. WOW, after insurance which was better than store special 2 for $149, it still cost me $500 bucks for two pair of glasses.  Since I am now semi-retired, it would have been cheaper to just poke out my eyes.  I'ts a hellava thing to have to pay to see.  I had to pray for Monday to come so I could turn off the spigot on my wallet.

So here it is Monday morning and we missed another "snow bullet"  we were supposed to get 6 to 10 inches of snow, we got 2 inches (much to my wife's delight).  How do these weather forcasters keep their jobs"  they're seldom right in their predictions except for the exact time of sunrise and sunset.

I''m having a pity party here, no one is reading this, no one is commenting on this, so I am wondering what the hell I am doing this for...you tell me.

...and remember, "Today is/was a day like anyother day, only you were there,"

Wa Da Ph..?

Well, I woke up this morning and you were on my mind, good line for a song. Well I was sitting at my desk actually working (I know, go figure) and listening to my favorite right wing radio talk host Jay Weber on WISN. Just as he was going to segway into my other right wing radio talk show host broadcast from The Peoples Republic of Madison, my ears were assaulted by the voice of Tiger Woods sounding all sorrowful and whiny

What is it about athletes that they don't think they have to play by the same rules we do? I heard him whining about the Press should leave my wife and my children alone. No don't get me wrong, I have no use for the left wing liberal wing nuts that are the 4th estate (did you like that one?), but geez Tiger what the hell did you think they were going to do but savage your family, and after all you are the one who put them in harms way, so ma up dude and deal with it. next time keep your putter in your bag. Oh and by the way, i noticed a complete lack of women of colour in your Harem, are you a bigot? I’m just sayin’. My step father (just a little to the right of Attila The Hun) is probably rolling around in his casket laughing his boney ass off at this.

Speaking of him (not Him) I wrote in a previous rant that I could not remember on happy time after his (not His) funeral. I was wrong. I am reminded of a time in 1978 when Jerry paid all of his children's and step-children's (me) plane fares and flew us all to Boston for his and my mothers 25th anniversary. What a hoot, my sister and her boyfriend (don't want to mention any names but his initials are Carl) came in from California and my brother whom they moved away from and left no forwarding address the day after his graduation from high school and yours truly from Milwaukee. Well, we all had a great time. Carl brought in some recreational party goods for us to partake and partake we did. We went to see “Close Encounters “ and toked up on the way to the show. My youngest sister was only 13 at the time and was in a full body cast, but was with us and we all had a gas. The next morning Jerry was complaining about a certain smell he couldn't figure out in his car… we all had a good laugh over that. oh well, the fun was short lived, Jerry got prissy with my brother and he flew home early. anyway,I almost forgot the best part. My brother and I went for a walk after a fine dinner in a local supper club and a few drinks. As we were want to do, we smoked a “J” and got really high and couldn't walk anymore so we came back to the house and sat on the porch talking for awhile. Our Mom (god rest her soul) came out on the front porch and said “well, what a sight, my two boys sitting on my porch all loaded.” Boy if she only knew. Well I guess you had to be there.

anyway, I guess I’ve babbled enough have a good weekend end and remember, “Today was a day like any other, but you were there”

Ack, bad week

So, here I am sitting beside myself wondering what happened to my week.  I went to the doctor Monday and came home with Bronchitis, geeez, I hate it when that happens.  Anywaythe combination of Mucinex DM and DayQuil is a potent mixture, makes your eyes go haywire .

I got to sit home and relax until Thursday at which time I had to return to the salt mines.  Today however, I had to visit the Opthamologist for my yearly exam (only two years since the last, but that's close to a yearly).  Dilate the eyes, much better than recreational party goods (but dosent last as long).  Then it was off to my new Dentist for my most favorite thing in the whole wide world....a root canal.  The only thing that makes that platable is the Novocaine and the gas.  Needless to say this was quite a day.  The dentist actually asked me if I wanted the Novocaine.   My reply to this foolish question was Duh..... Y'think?!  This reminds me of another story from way back, and guesss what?  Time for another paragraph.

My Step father once called me a sissy for going to the dentist and having Novocain for having a tooth filled.  So, stupid me, when I went the next time, I declined the novocaine, just call me stupid.  Now remember this was back in the day when the dental drills were run on old slow motors connected to the drill head by pully cords.  those of you in my age range or those of you with a morbid imagination will know what  am talking about.  You cannot imagine how that hurt.  It reminds me of the torture scene in the movie "Marathon Man" where  the Nazi played by Sir Laurence Olivia was drilling out a hole in Dustin Hoffmans front tooth asking him "Is it safe"?  Shudder if you will I certainly did.  Never again did I let that happen.  I wonder if old Jerry went without Novacaine???  I doubt it.

Anyway, that was the week that was, and remember, "Today was a day like any other day, only you were there".                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

I don’t never Get Nuttin all year

I was inspired to write today by my friend Eric.  Here is the sum total of what I get from my wife during he year. 

• Anniversary…nuttin
• Valentines Day…Nadda
• Birthday…zero
• Christmas…zip (X-cept last year (09)

Now to be fair, I do get cards, and again to be fair, I usually give her the same.  so before you feel sorry for us, this is why.  Usually we just buy what we want, when we want (within reason of course) so there are usually never any wants for those afore mentioned occasions.

there are many things I would like, like a Palm Pre, a new Laptop, a 26” monitor instead of the 19” one I am squinting into now, a 36” flat screen LED TV for the Boudoir, a 60” flat screen for my Man Cave, a new Honda Accord, the list goes on, and on.  Obviously my wish list is above the $37.65 I currently have in my slush fund, soooooooooo.

Well, today is Tax Filing day for me.  I have been putting this off because I usually owe the government my first born, sometimes I wish I had given her instead of hard earned cash. it would have been cheaper.   I’m only kidding, I love both my daughters to death and wouldn't trade them for anything, well, maybe for the 60” flat screen or the Honda, but that that’s it.

I keep getting distracted by my thoughts.  This year Uncle Sam ( or should I say The Lord High Savior and Messiah Obama has been very good to me.  I got money back, but guess who's pocket it’s coming out of {insert huge roar of laughter here}???  Yours! ROTFLMFAO!!!  The down side is though what I got back is in four figures (to the left of the decimal for those of you in Rio Lindo) is only good for a couple of loaves of Wonder Bread  (Weazunder, Breazed) (can’t memember who said that)…sigh…

oh well, it’s probably all George Bush’s fault anyway, and always remember, today was a day like any other day, except you were there.

P.S. Oh hell can’t find a post-it note..the nice thing about spell checkers is, you can add any words you want and they’ll always be spelled right.  Oops, got to go, low blood sugar.

I can never think of a title, i also cant type worth a darn

Well, here it is Thursday and the best thing that will happen is Survivor starts again with ALL THE VILLIANS (geez, I hate the caps lock key).  I woke up this morning with this critter in my lungs

spreading little critter paste all over so I can't breath, then his twin brother invaded my sinuses and filled them with more of the same.

This is how my eyes looked from the outside, you should have seen them from the inside.

Well, you get the picture (pun intended).  My Sweetie wanted me to stay home today, but noooooooooo, I had to be the Macho Dude.  Well, here I sit at home now filled with more drugs (guess you can take that whichever way you want to) than Walgreens.  As soon as I get done with this rant, I'm gonna kick back on the couch, cover myself up with an afghan (not a dog) that my Aunt Jan made for me.  Don't think I'll be going in tomorrow either.  Well, enough of my incesescent whining (cant spell either)

As you can see from my weather gadget above, the weather here is fairly nice, but Monday thru Wednesday was a horse of a different color.  By Wednesday morning we had 16" in the driveway, not 3/32" like my sister Kim had in Tennessee.  Who the hell can measure that anyway, I couldn't bend down to measure that if my life depended on it.  Thank God this winter is on the down-low (Kim, you have God's ear, ask him to hurry it up).

This morning see's yet another nuclear state, Iran.  Thank God that's all they did was announce that they were.  I was fully expecting to wake up this morning and find a mushroom cloud where Israel used to be.  Our government, both this administration and the last, has been sitting around playing Tidily Winks with Man Hole Covers while Iran hemmed and hawed and stalled and all we did was spout rhetoric, well, guess what?  It happened.  This has tremendous implications.  WWIII is right around the corner and we cant do a damn thing about it.

Our government has been paralyzed by itself, has spent itself into debtors prison and China (doesn't matter  which China) holds the key.  Maybe I am naive, but I was brought up with the concept that this country was a reprehensive form of government and that the people we elect to represent us will vote on issues based on the opinions of the majority of their constituents.  well, we got what we asked for, we elected the crooks that have sold this country down the river, all the politicians want to do is line their pockets, they don't care what we think.  sure, there are a few (rookies), but they will succumb to the inevitable.

I read a Tom Clancy book a few years ago where a Japanese industrial magnet took a 747 loaded with fuel, and explosives and flew it to The Capital Building during a full session of Congress killing everyone.  Sometimes I wonder if that wasn't such a bad idea (only me and my invisible friend know if I am serious).  We had to start over the way it was suppose to be in the first place  Every day people were elected to serve for a term or two then go back home and let someone else in.  What do we have now?  We have professional politicians, where else in America can you have a man grow rich during Prohibition, produce 3 sons (2 assassinated).  There are 3 you say?  well here is what the great state of Mass. has done, they elected a drunk, then that Drunk went and murdered his girlfriend and he still gets reelected time, after time, after time.

So, you ask yourself, "Self"?  where the heck is he going with this?  It beats the bejesus out of me, I'm just typing this thing.  I haven't the faintest clue as to where a paragraph begins and ends, when I feel like it is time for a new one, I just hit enter and Viola, a new paragraph.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it and always remember, "Today was a day like another day... only you were there".

must be the NyQuil

Snowy days and Mondays really get me down

Well here it is Monday and the football season sadly is over. No more excuses that you don’t have time to clean out the gutters, or straighten out your workshop or laundry room, or any of a myriad of household chores….at least until next August. My team FINALLY won, but only because Manning pulled a Fav-ray and choked. It was kismet that gave the Saints a win, after all, the Saints and the Manning’s are synonymous. The Super Bowl lived up to its hype this year and as usual the commercials were great! My personal fav was the dog and the shock collar for Doritos.

Today marks a mile stone in the career of yours truly (fingers pointing at me). Today I live on

 (Happy Rd.). This morning I advised my boss that as of 3/29/10 I was going into semi-retirement and was reducing my hours from 40 to 20 per week. After toiling since I was 12, I can finally relax a little. No more bosses, no more schnooks, no more brown-nosers dirty looks. Secretly I was hoping they would fire me so I could collect Unemployment for 99 weeks, how sweet that would be. Anyway now I’m happy as a clam.

So I wake up yesterday morning and who should be on with the Sunday Talking Heads (Chris Wallace) none other than Sara Palin. She is my favorite woman in the whole world next to my late sainted mother and my wife Kimmycakes, and oh yeah my sister Kimmer. Finally someone I can listen too that will be honest. How refreshing. Ok, that’s not altogether true, Kimmy and Kimmer (not to be confused with each other) (then again, Kimmer lives in Tennessee and you know what that means, 4 million people in the state and they’re all related) also tell the truth, and my Mom who is taking a dirt nap by definition doesn’t lie (at least that’s not what she always told me). The midterm erections are looming right around the corner. Democrats in Congress beware, we know who you are and we know where you live. You’re going down. After we’re done with you, your fearless leader and self proclaimed Messiah is next.

I guess this is it for today, I know it’s not my usual biting, sarcastic satire, but get over it, I can’t be brilliant all the time, and remember

“Today was a day like any other day, but YOU were there”

Chains

ok, I was just informed by my sister that she has 3 dogs, here is the third. Scrappy looking thing don’t you think?

Yeah, I thought so too.



Anyway on to chains. I’m prompted to this posting y a friend of mine in Virginia who just posted on his blog this morning about eating at Ruby Tuesdays. Now I have eaten at one of those in Gettysburg, and while found the food to be acceptable, I positively, absolutely HATE eating at chains. the food is always the same, the decor is always the same, it has no character, yet we let them take over our landscape. Kim and I went out the other night to a place called The Red Mill Inn. It had Pot Roast on the menu for god sakes and it was darn good. give me a eatery that there’s only one of any day. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not criticizing anyone here, I am just offering my own personal taste. all chain restaurants should be outlawed and burned down (except Popeye’s Chicken). Brookfield has now been inundated with the worst possible chain on the planet, Hooters, oh the shame…

Today is Friday, you know what that means?

Well today is Friday, and I awoke bright eyed and bushy tailed.  Well ok, this is not entirely true.  My eyes look like raisins because the bags under them have sucked all the fluid out of my eyeballs.  No kidding. If you put air into the bags under my eyes, they would be like water wings.  The only thing bushy about my tail was…well, that’s not a picture you want to have in your mind…TMI

Anyway, lots of news this morning.  One of my ardent followers is due to get his ass kicked by Mr. Weather.  You know who you are.  Stay home from work, convince your snazzy wife to do the same, lock the young lad in the closet for awhile with food and water, and then have monkey spankin sex.  That will surely put every little thing in perspective.

Moving right along…

I got a disturbing email from my wife this morning.  We have friends (I know it’s hard to comprehend that I have friends, but it’s true) that live “Up Nort” and are lovingly referred as U-pers.  We received the sad news that their Dog Eddie passed away from Cancer.  Those of you that don’t have pets won’t understand the loss, but those that do will know the profound sorrow felt at the loss of a pet.  I’m not talking about pet turtles (although they are quite affectionate), lizards, hamsters (who turn on frequently), and the like, I am talking about puppies and Kitties.  We have lost 3 dogs who now sit on a shelf in Urns in the computer room next to my brother-in-law who is also Urn-dized (long story for another time).  We also have 3 kitties buried in our Pet Semetry.  When one of them leaves us, they leave a hole in our lives. 

When we lost our Dylan (10 year old Airedale), my wife (Kim) said no dogs for awhile.  I wanted on right away, we’ve had dogs for 27 years..  Well, one Friday night about a week after Dylan’s passing, we were sitting on the couch watching TV and eating Pizza, and Kim remarked “I have no one to throw my pizza crusts to”.  The next day I spent all day scouring the internet for another dog that we could rescue.  We found our Wylie in Minnesota just west of Minneapolis.  He was 2 years old, and when we saw him I told Kim, “Geez, he looks like a Coyote, so he was aptly named Wylie Coyote.  We also have two kitties Fargus and Cheeto.

Anyway it seems like I have yet again digressed, the point I was trying to make was our friends who we will call Jerry and Gloria (not their real names of course) spent what some would think is an insane amount money when Eddie got sick to see what was wrong with him, and then had to have him put down in the end.  We have done the same, spent enormous amount of money on our dog’s health, after all to us “empty-nesters” they are like our children (sometimes lots better) and we love them to death (no pun intended) and will do anything for them.

Oh yeah, I forgot my sister (Kimbowid.blogspot.com) also has two puppies..

 ROTFLMFAO!!!

Well, I guess that’s all for today.  “Today was a day like any other day, but YOU were there”