Truly a Left Wing Conspiracy

I just read a posting by my friend Eric, describing what he called a left wing conspiracy in the Grocery Store. I too have been a victim of this vicious trend. Things that my wife and I like just seem to disappear from the shelves.

Here are just a few; corn bread crusted catfish fillets, fat free rice and tapioca puddings, Lavoris mouth wash, caramel corn with peanuts, and caramel corn itself. Cedar Crest Ice cream, red pistachios, and one of my personal favorite’s Peanut butter with real Bacon Bits mixed in (damn, that was fabulous!). the worst thing that has happened is the Pic-n-Save that I have been going to for 27 years is now completely closed for remodeling and I have to use a different on. Granted it is a bit closer, but they not call it a “Metro Mart”. The store is literally twice as big as the other one was, but offers less of a selection of goods. In addition, the layout is completely different. Now, I know what you’re thinkin’, “did I fire 5 shots or 6…” not a big deal you think? Well, after the literally thousands of times I went to the store, I could go up and down the aisles blindfolded and get what I need (except for the corn bread crusted catfish fillets, fat free rice and tapioca puddings, Lavoris mouth wash, caramel corn with peanuts, and caramel corn itself. Cedar Crest Ice cream, red pistachios, and one of my personal favorites Peanut butter with real Bacon Bits mixed in) that the left wing commie liberals have taken away from me supposedly for my own good. I ax you, would this be happening if Ronald Reagan were still president? I don’t think so.

By the way, I think I’m turning Japanese…I really think so. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it, and remember…”today was a day like any other day, except you were there.”

TCM's 31 Days of Oscar Moodboard

..just a thought

Note to self:

Soemtimes I just dont know.

Well, it wold seem I have offended my sister and she isn't  following my blog anymore.  There dosen't seem to be anything I can do about it, so I'll just move on with other thngs.

When did everything become so epensive?  this weekend could have cost me my first born (if I hadn't already given her away). 

I go to the store (Fresh Market) Saturday night to get a couple pieces of fruit, walked out spending almost $75 bucks.  Granted, it was after Kim and I were at the local Comedy Club and were just a little tippsy.

Got a bill in the mail from my Dentist for over $400 bucks for the beginning of a root canal.  It's a hellava thing to have to pay for pain, I thought that was over when I quit the S&M scene...LOL

Sunday Kim and I went to the eye glass place to get me new glasses. WOW, after insurance which was better than store special 2 for $149, it still cost me $500 bucks for two pair of glasses.  Since I am now semi-retired, it would have been cheaper to just poke out my eyes.  I'ts a hellava thing to have to pay to see.  I had to pray for Monday to come so I could turn off the spigot on my wallet.

So here it is Monday morning and we missed another "snow bullet"  we were supposed to get 6 to 10 inches of snow, we got 2 inches (much to my wife's delight).  How do these weather forcasters keep their jobs"  they're seldom right in their predictions except for the exact time of sunrise and sunset.

I''m having a pity party here, no one is reading this, no one is commenting on this, so I am wondering what the hell I am doing this for...you tell me.

...and remember, "Today is/was a day like anyother day, only you were there,"

Wa Da Ph..?

Well, I woke up this morning and you were on my mind, good line for a song. Well I was sitting at my desk actually working (I know, go figure) and listening to my favorite right wing radio talk host Jay Weber on WISN. Just as he was going to segway into my other right wing radio talk show host broadcast from The Peoples Republic of Madison, my ears were assaulted by the voice of Tiger Woods sounding all sorrowful and whiny

What is it about athletes that they don't think they have to play by the same rules we do? I heard him whining about the Press should leave my wife and my children alone. No don't get me wrong, I have no use for the left wing liberal wing nuts that are the 4th estate (did you like that one?), but geez Tiger what the hell did you think they were going to do but savage your family, and after all you are the one who put them in harms way, so ma up dude and deal with it. next time keep your putter in your bag. Oh and by the way, i noticed a complete lack of women of colour in your Harem, are you a bigot? I’m just sayin’. My step father (just a little to the right of Attila The Hun) is probably rolling around in his casket laughing his boney ass off at this.

Speaking of him (not Him) I wrote in a previous rant that I could not remember on happy time after his (not His) funeral. I was wrong. I am reminded of a time in 1978 when Jerry paid all of his children's and step-children's (me) plane fares and flew us all to Boston for his and my mothers 25th anniversary. What a hoot, my sister and her boyfriend (don't want to mention any names but his initials are Carl) came in from California and my brother whom they moved away from and left no forwarding address the day after his graduation from high school and yours truly from Milwaukee. Well, we all had a great time. Carl brought in some recreational party goods for us to partake and partake we did. We went to see “Close Encounters “ and toked up on the way to the show. My youngest sister was only 13 at the time and was in a full body cast, but was with us and we all had a gas. The next morning Jerry was complaining about a certain smell he couldn't figure out in his car… we all had a good laugh over that. oh well, the fun was short lived, Jerry got prissy with my brother and he flew home early. anyway,I almost forgot the best part. My brother and I went for a walk after a fine dinner in a local supper club and a few drinks. As we were want to do, we smoked a “J” and got really high and couldn't walk anymore so we came back to the house and sat on the porch talking for awhile. Our Mom (god rest her soul) came out on the front porch and said “well, what a sight, my two boys sitting on my porch all loaded.” Boy if she only knew. Well I guess you had to be there.

anyway, I guess I’ve babbled enough have a good weekend end and remember, “Today was a day like any other, but you were there”

Ack, bad week

So, here I am sitting beside myself wondering what happened to my week.  I went to the doctor Monday and came home with Bronchitis, geeez, I hate it when that happens.  Anywaythe combination of Mucinex DM and DayQuil is a potent mixture, makes your eyes go haywire .

I got to sit home and relax until Thursday at which time I had to return to the salt mines.  Today however, I had to visit the Opthamologist for my yearly exam (only two years since the last, but that's close to a yearly).  Dilate the eyes, much better than recreational party goods (but dosent last as long).  Then it was off to my new Dentist for my most favorite thing in the whole wide world....a root canal.  The only thing that makes that platable is the Novocaine and the gas.  Needless to say this was quite a day.  The dentist actually asked me if I wanted the Novocaine.   My reply to this foolish question was Duh..... Y'think?!  This reminds me of another story from way back, and guesss what?  Time for another paragraph.

My Step father once called me a sissy for going to the dentist and having Novocain for having a tooth filled.  So, stupid me, when I went the next time, I declined the novocaine, just call me stupid.  Now remember this was back in the day when the dental drills were run on old slow motors connected to the drill head by pully cords.  those of you in my age range or those of you with a morbid imagination will know what  am talking about.  You cannot imagine how that hurt.  It reminds me of the torture scene in the movie "Marathon Man" where  the Nazi played by Sir Laurence Olivia was drilling out a hole in Dustin Hoffmans front tooth asking him "Is it safe"?  Shudder if you will I certainly did.  Never again did I let that happen.  I wonder if old Jerry went without Novacaine???  I doubt it.

Anyway, that was the week that was, and remember, "Today was a day like any other day, only you were there".                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

I don’t never Get Nuttin all year

I was inspired to write today by my friend Eric.  Here is the sum total of what I get from my wife during he year. 

• Anniversary…nuttin
• Valentines Day…Nadda
• Birthday…zero
• Christmas…zip (X-cept last year (09)

Now to be fair, I do get cards, and again to be fair, I usually give her the same.  so before you feel sorry for us, this is why.  Usually we just buy what we want, when we want (within reason of course) so there are usually never any wants for those afore mentioned occasions.

there are many things I would like, like a Palm Pre, a new Laptop, a 26” monitor instead of the 19” one I am squinting into now, a 36” flat screen LED TV for the Boudoir, a 60” flat screen for my Man Cave, a new Honda Accord, the list goes on, and on.  Obviously my wish list is above the $37.65 I currently have in my slush fund, soooooooooo.

Well, today is Tax Filing day for me.  I have been putting this off because I usually owe the government my first born, sometimes I wish I had given her instead of hard earned cash. it would have been cheaper.   I’m only kidding, I love both my daughters to death and wouldn't trade them for anything, well, maybe for the 60” flat screen or the Honda, but that that’s it.

I keep getting distracted by my thoughts.  This year Uncle Sam ( or should I say The Lord High Savior and Messiah Obama has been very good to me.  I got money back, but guess who's pocket it’s coming out of {insert huge roar of laughter here}???  Yours! ROTFLMFAO!!!  The down side is though what I got back is in four figures (to the left of the decimal for those of you in Rio Lindo) is only good for a couple of loaves of Wonder Bread  (Weazunder, Breazed) (can’t memember who said that)…sigh…

oh well, it’s probably all George Bush’s fault anyway, and always remember, today was a day like any other day, except you were there.

P.S. Oh hell can’t find a post-it note..the nice thing about spell checkers is, you can add any words you want and they’ll always be spelled right.  Oops, got to go, low blood sugar.