Fathers

What is a father?  Does one really need one?

 A father can be a sperm donor.  A father can be a step-father, or a father can be the patriarch of a family you’ve been lucky enough to have married into.  In my case, I had all three, but it was the latter of the three that was the most important to me.

The first of the three was “The Sperm Donor”.  He was a serial philanderer, and my mother divorced him when I was 4 or so.  He deserted me on my 5^th birthday, gave me a package of gum and that was the last I ever saw of him.  It took me 45+ years to find him.  When I did all he asked me was “What do you want from me, I have no money”?  He told me he had no desire to ever be a father to anyone, nor did he want to be married even though he was married for 35 years to another lady.  That was the second time he deserted me…and that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Father number two, “The Step Father”.  In order to respect the feelings of my siblings, all I will say about him was that he packed a hell of a punch (I can attest to that personally many times over), and he made the best Old Fashion I ever tasted.  Funny, while driving home from his funeral, my wife Kim asked me to remember and tell her of a happy memory of him, I couldn’t.  Pretty sad state of affairs I must say.

Now we come to number three, my father-in-law.  He was more of a father to me that the previous two.  I loved him dearly; he was a great role model, father, and husband.  Sadly, he is no longer with us, and I miss him terribly.  He was a devout Catholic, was an usher in the same church for more than 35 years.  On the other hand he loved Martini’s and talking dirty.

My youngest sister (probably the smartest of us kids), told me not to be bitter.  I was bitter for a lot of years, it was all encompassing, and it almost ruined my life twice.  Fortunately after 18 months of Therapy I am able to put all that behind me, well, most of the time at least.

Does one really need a father?  Sometimes not.